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Meet our newest Trusted Advisor.

Gary Bloom, a clinical psychotherapist gives an insight into how best to manage your business while at the same time being effective mums and dads.

One of the most repeated phrases I hear in my clinic is;
“kids don’t come with an instruction manual.”
If you’re in business together and have aspirations of having children, have already embarked on this process and are close to a nervous breakdown, or now have adolescent kids, I hope this article is for you.
Gary Bloom –
Sports Psychotherapist and broadcaster.

Put in its crudest form, kids can make or break the sturdiest of relationships and if you are in business together children’s needs and wishes need to be factored in if you wish to be successful.

It’s not as simple as hiring the best local childminder (but that certainly helps) however this article is more about looking at the signs that children are not entirely happy and how they try to deal with mum and dad being out maybe a little bit more than they would want.

When I work with couples who encounter these problems the most important aspect to consider to help children is to create clear authentic, transparent boundaries and stick with them. And this can be a huge challenge for a couple in business together.

You might promise your six-year-old that you’ll be home by 7pm, but when your client is running late and a meeting with them overruns it’s worthless trying to explain this to a foot stomping toddler.

It’s also worth bearing in mind that the child’s brain does not finish developing till the age of 24 for women and 26 for men and you can begin to understand how trying to discuss anything with an air of rationality with your toddler or teenager is frankly a waste of time.

Most youngsters require one thing from their parents and that’s to be listened to. It’s the most helpful thing you can ever do to another individual and when things are not going well with a child the temptation for an adult is to talk more and listen less.

I help couples look for the tell-tale signs that their children are wanting to be heard more or are unhappy with their peer group, school, or family. When a child is feeling some of these things, their behaviour can often change, at times quite dramatically, and we call this “acting out.“

This is usually a cry for help and decoding these sometimes outrageous behaviours can be quite challenging.

Inevitably if you are running a successful business, there are going to be some gaps left at home when children are going to wonder where you are and I think it’s really important to offset these periods of absence with something really important to the child.

I found myself in this position as a youngster when my father would spend hours away from home at his office and return home only to push me into one of his own favourite past times (golf) rather than something I wanted to do.

Children can also put their finger on the most delicate point of your relationship and I often help in relationship counselling how to create more of a cohesive team as parents,  and less two individuals “firefighting“.

TRUSTED ADVISOR
Gary Bloom is a clinical psychotherapist who works for Cognacity – a psychological agency in Harley Street.
Gary specialises in helping young people who have lost their way and also parents who are having a tough time bringing up kids.
He works in state schools and is also a sports psychotherapist working for a football league club.

He also presents a radio show on talkSPORT called “on the sporting couch“ where he runs a therapy session with a well-known sports man or woman.

Gary joins Couplepreneurs as one of our trusted advisors to help with relationship issues which might impact on small and medium size businesses. 

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